Maybe I can create a simple example. Now, to have sex, I must be the instigator. We clearly are having it FOR me. NOw compare this to YEARS ago when my wife would reach over and BLOW me while I am driving down the interstate. THe first example gives 0 validation, while the second gives tons of validation. The second example is FAR more valuable to me then the first. In fact the first, is an example of sex being nothing more then MBing. IN the second, she is doing me because she WANTS to do me, in the first she is doing me because she HAS to do me.
I also think that sex is mostly a MENTAL thing, that HOW you feel or percieve your spouse to be is HUGE in kicking off the chemicals of passion. But again, is this not validation.
