Okay, I'm weak. I sent her an email about 9:30 acknowledging her texts. Just said thank you and told her about what I was doing tonight. She replied back pretty quickly. Just friendly emails, nothing contentious. I did hear your recommendations, but I also thought about this for a while and did find some advice from another DBer that made me change my mind.
Originally Posted By: 'chele
Don't fall into the (very common) new-LBS definition of "Detaching" (ie, pulling away from W) or "Going Dark" (ie, letting [her] see what life would be like w/o me). Bleh. That - and the I'll-Make-Her-Jealous one just purely stinks and will only backfire on you. Avoid the pitfalls.
While, yes, you should detach; the "want her to" about it is wrong, wrong, wrong. You detach FROM THE SITCH; not from W. You detach so that you can deal w/the sitch and not personalize everything W says/does/doesn't say/do. YOu detach so you gain some perspective and lose (as gradually as detaching gets stronger) the overwhelming emotions you are feeling. You detach - LOVINGLY - not to make her miss you but so that you don't miss her so very much every minute of every day. You detach so you can focus on YOU - on what will make you a happier, healthier, better person and someone W will be a fool to leave. Detach & become W's BFF. Filter your thoughts, actions, words thru the "Is this what W's BFF would do?"
This made a lot of sense to me. I hate the cat and mouse games of trying to hold out contact until the other person does. I'm avoiding being pushy in the conversations, but I think we do need to communicate, especially if it is a reply back. Maybe its just me, but I would think that no reply would get her thinking something like "That #ssh&le can't even acknowledge my apology". We have been having good coversations for the most part, and I don't want to sabotage that. I am though not initiating calls or emails unless there is something important to tell her. At least I've come that far.
