the C told me HE , H, had to have said that , NOT me
Cat--for some reason this hit me really hard this morning. I think this is the hardest thing about M, especially in our sitches, but it's the nitty-gritty bare naked truth of the matter.
Our instinct (even when we know better) is to try to encourage/influence/force our Hs to do/say/think/be what we want and need them so desperately to be, but they can never truly be ours if they don't commit on their own.
I just read on another thread the comment that nearly all marriages are salvageable after infidelity, but that often the WAS doesn't make that ultimate realization until after the LBS has given up and moved on. Grrr.
Anyway, don't tell yourself you spoke too soon. You know as well as any of us that this is a back-and-forth experience. The prognosis can change daily, hourly, every other minute.
I know you're already doing it, but just detach, let go of your expectations, and be patient. ((hugs))
