My H the same. Whenever we have a R talk he always drags up the past and tells me I should have done this and that. I'm thinking he should have done this and that. You can't fix the past now, it's too late. The time to deal with issues is when they arise, and like you, chicki, H rarely spoke about things in the past.
Now, if he gets on topic he can't shut up. A few months ago I simply left the room because I wouldn't be drawn into it. Tell him to shut up or just leave the room. I have heard my H's rants three or four times now and I tell him I've got the picture. I am prepared to listen but not to rants.
We're at the point now that any R talks focus on now and what would happen if he left/stayed blah blah. I was scared of this shift in our talks but now I'm feeling bring it on and get the hell out of my life you loser. Five minutes later, I'm thinking the opposite. Hey ho.
