Newbie ? How public was your spouse's affair?

[NoDirection]

If he needs the divorce that badly, let him file the paperwork. Keep focusing on you and your children. Make him remember why he married you in the first place, go out with friends, spend time with just you and your kids, and continue to use the "as if" approach. If he still has a heart, he will return.

In regards to the timeframe, that is entirely your call. I get the same questions from the friends I have confided in. Continue to fight and DB until you think it is over... In the end you will have a better understanding of yourself and what is needed to make a relationship work.