Well, I talked to H yesterday about the money. He called and told me he changed his mind about the "allowance". He said he wanted to do that so I said ok. I told him that we would both take out the same amount of money and that was what we had to use for everything that wasn't a bill (food, gas, going out, etc.). He said ok. Well, he went and took out his money...then he went and spent 50 bucks at wal-mart. That wasn't the plan. Two hours and he had already broken the rules. I was pretty mad, because all of the bills fall on me. If they don't get paid, it is MY credit that it ruins because everything is in my name.
Well, during my anger I called him. No answer, left a message. I called back a couple of hours later. No answer, left another message. Now, this is a man that checks his phone every five minutes so I know he knew I had called. I decided to call him back one more time to leave a message for him not to even bother calling me back (I know, this is not DB'ing, but I can't seem to help myself sometimes). Well, that time he answered.
Anyway, we started talking about the R. He told me that he needed to talk to me and he needed to do it in person. This doesn't sound good to me. I asked when, and he said he could come over at lunch today. I told him no because I would have to go back to work and I didn't want to spend my lunch break crying and not feel like going back to work. He said he would come over when I got off work.
I am not expecting it to be good news. I am actually expecting him to say he wants a D. I just cannot accept this. I know that I can go on without him, I just don't WANT to. Just a couple of months ago everything was fine. The week before he started pulling away and shutting me out we went out for drinks. He told me how much he loved me and said that he loved being married to me. I just don't understand it. It makes no sense.
Anyway, this is a really bad day. I am just trying to get through. My stomach is in knots about this conversation this afternoon.
