Just found out that OW has a kid!!

[Ophelia]

Well I had a couple of things happen today that perked me up a bit.

First thing, this morning I got a txt from MIL, asking how I'm doing. Hadn't heard from her in a little while, so it made me feel pretty good that they haven't forgotten me. I replied that I was "ok" and that I "miss you guys heaps", then invited them over for lunch. She replied that she'd talk with FIL to sort out what days they'd be available and get back to me. So I should be catching up with them sometime in the next couple of weeks.

In the afternoon, I finally posted the signed forms for the Property Settlement back to H's L. I had to get a Justice of the Peace to sign one of them as a witness, (as I don't have a L myself), and there are certain times when they're available at certain places like shopping centres and stuff.

So I was walking through this shopping centre, looking for where the JP was, and I was thinking, "I really wish I didn't have to do this. I don't want this Property Settlement. It just puts H one step closer to filing for D, and I don't want that to happen! I need a frigging miracle to turn this mess around!" So I was feeling pretty down about what signing these forms meant for the future of my M, but knew it couldn't be stalled any longer.

As I walked past a florist, I happened to look up from the floor, and see the displays they had set up out the front. In the middle of all these flowers, was a little board with a quote written on it. It was a little chalkboard, so obviously they change the quote on a regular basis. On this particular day, when I happened to look right at it, (I don't even usually go to this particular shopping centre), right when I was thinking I needed some kinda miracle, the quote, written in big, bold letters was:
MAGIC IS BELIEVING IN YOURSELF, IF YOU CAN DO THAT, YOU CAN MAKE ANYTHING HAPPEN.
Freaky, huh?! Almost stopped me dead in my tracks! It made me smile and hold my head up as I kept on walking.

After I'd posted the forms, I sent H a txt, (haven't sent him a txt since January!) just saying "Forms posted" because I figured his L would probably call him again this weekend to tell him they hadn't arrived yet. A few minutes later I actually got a reply! It was just, "Thanks", but I hadn't been expecting anything. I very nearly fired back with, "Well, I'd say you're welcome, but it wouldn't exactly be sincere," but thought better of it.

Sadly, the pile was the left behind pile. He took his baby photos and precious books and even sport clippings. That pile with my vows was the rubbish pile. The rubbish pile for me to keep or throw out. It was meaningless to him now. So I threw them out for him. I could not believe he saved all those cards and mementos and took the time to leave them in the rubbish pile for me to find.

I'm so sorry, mkultra. *hugs* If it were me, I'd have been tempted to pack them up and post them to him with a note along the lines of: "I'm sure you've got the trash at your place as well, so if you want to throw stuff out, do it your damn self." (in case you can't tell by now, I've got a bit of a sarcastic streak ) Shocking DBing, but I'll bet it woulda felt good.

H didn't take any reminders of us with him. Like your H, he took things that were his own, but he didn't even take one photo of me.

Statistically speaking it's VERY unlikely their relationship will last (she's probably in post-partum depression).

I suspect she probably did have some form of PPD when she split with her H, but the kid turned 3 last Oct, and I don't know that PPD lasts that long. Plus, in her little profile on the site I looked up, she mentioned how she loves spending every spare minute she has with her wonderful son.

She definitely must have been messed up right after his birth though, because what sane person calls off a M right after a baby is born?

There's absolutely nothing you can tell him to make him realize that. He will have to figure it all out on his own. If you try to talk or convince him of anything he'll only focus on you and anything he can twist as negative about you and him, rather than his own situation. Your best bet is to wish him happiness, and tell him you're glad he found happiness, and then let him go and mull over if he truly is happy, thus giving him the time and space to really focus on whether this really is such a great situation. Unfortunately it will probably take time....

This is why I don't even think I should bring up the fact that I've snooped around and figured it out. I only did it because he wasn't a big enough person to answer my questions, but he'd just twist it around to make me look like some kinda stalker, which will make me look worse and OW look even better than she already does. So even though I itching to say something to either or both of them, or even to my ILs, I have to keep telling myself that that won't get me anywhere I wanna be! I've just gotta keep playing dumb and calm and happy and over him, (even though I'm actually none of those things).