We are well and truly into our divorce paperwork, and are now getting the house ready for sale.
Its funny how sitches have their ups and downs. Things have calmed considerably over the last few weeks. Had a huge argument a few weeks back, and pretty much told my W that I had conceded, and that in all honesty, I could not forgive and forget, and that she did not have to worry about me wanting to reconcile.
Well today, after two weeks of bliss, she tried to instigate an argument with me in regards to things I was saying to D. I did not buy into it and asked her what was the real problem.
We had a nice talk about most things. Where she and I went wrong. She kept telling me "whats done is done, it has happened", in regards to the decision she made several months back and her PA. She told me how sorry she was that it happened.
I did not go into it further and left it at that. Then we continued to talk, and OM was mentioned, and I asked her "How are things going, good I hope", she said "I don't know".
I said "I hope things do go well, the last thing I want is for you to be hurt". "How does he feel about you?". Then she said "I don't know how he feels and I don't care".
I left it there.
Hmmmmm. I bloody knew it. The scumbag OM's have their fun, ruin any chance of reconsilliation, then when things get serious in regards to making a committment now that divorce gets closer, they get cold feed.
So now my emotions are torn between the fact that I have accepted my sitch, and look forward to a new life, with still wanting to save my M and family.
Does anyone else go through these mixed emotions daily?
I just don't know if I can really forgive and forget, it just hurts too much and I know I will bring it up in the future, regardless how hard I try to block it out. How can you trust someone again, what if OM comes back into the picture, will she run back to him..........................I think my brain is going to explode
Anyway, regardless of what happens, I am much stronger now and look forward to life with or without her.
Hope everyone is doing well in theirs, god bless. AndyV
