I agree w/ CVA that W seems to be (slowly) moving in a good direction in response to your detachment. I am sort of sad for you that you have had to reach this point where you have become this detached, but at least you aren't having to fake the detachment. Does that make any sense?
I hear you on the frustration about the kids and how this thing you don't want is going to force a shift in your R w/ them. We are just going to have to make the best of what we can w/ them. Oh, and my H is big on "five years ago", if only I had woken up and make these changes five years ago, we might have been OK. Our oldest child is only 4, so I often wonder why he had these kids w/ me too if he was so unhappy. Did he think they were going to make things easier? OK, I'll stop venting on your thread.
Don't know if you consider me "Houston" or not, but just letting you know that KW is reading too.
