Trying to set those goals!

[Trixi]

I really don't think I can talk to him anymore. Or at least not for awhile.

He just called to let me know that he planned to come over tomorrow "early afternoon" to get stuff because he's going camping for the weekend. (Do you know how many times *I* said *I* wanted to go camping?! and we never went!!!!!!!!!!!! Admittedly, I had suggested renting an RV, so he would probably assume that I would refuse to tent, but how would he know?)

I wasn't good enough to spend time with; for him to commit to the marriage.

I was cordial/reserved with him. He asked if I would be home and I said I wasn't sure, but that he knew where all the stuff was. And he was like 'yeah. ok. Well, I just thought I would call and let you know." and I was like "Thanks for that." Him "ok" Me "ok.bye"

And now I am here bawling my eyes out. He has such a huge advantage over me; he works for a HUGE company (thousands of employees) and has been setting up this single life for quite some time. I, on the other hand, work for myself and was (stupidly) dedicated to the marriage. And now the summer is coming to an end. God, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO jealous and I wish I was getting to go. I feel so alone.

When do I stop caring? I can't believe how much I miss him. I suppose good DBing would have been to say "oooo, that sounds like a great time!! Hope you have a blast! Where are you gonna go? Oh, awesome! Who's going? Neato!"

What about this--First, I try to make sure that I am gone; the only thing that could screw that up is I have the cable guy coming tomorrow and I don't know what exact time he'll be here. But let's assume the cable guy is done by 10am. I do have a singing lesson at 1:30, so I do have to leave by 1 to get there, so more than likely I won't be here when he gets here. I just won't come home when I'm done. Anyhoo--

What if I leave a note near the mail spot (where I leave his mail) that says "J- Sorry I missed you. Camping! That's so awesome- I'm totally jealous Feel free to take the pop in the garage and the beer in the fridge. Here's some stuff from the pantry I don't think I'll ever eat, so maybe you can use it.
Hope you have a great time- 99"

You might question the jealous statement, but I would like him to know that I wouldn't have been opposed to going tent camping. And I really will put a smiley face in the note-- I do that a lot when I hand write things.

What do you think? (And I do not believe that I could pull it off in person. I mean, I think I could keep myself together, but I don't think I could act happy.)