Hi, well I think your wife is where I almost was at one point. She is wanting the fairy tale. She is looking at the OM as her knight in shining armor to wisk her away and "take care of everything". She doesn't want any problems (which is totally unrealistic) and she want a man to fix/take care of all her problems. She is also still taking advantage of your financial situation as her basic excuse....which I don't totally buy, but I know how if can affect a woman. But, when she mentioned the fact that you work in a bar...as if that excused her behaviour.....please! She is just looking for something.

I would suggest that you don't talk to her about the OM. I know it would probably be about the hardest thing you've ever done, but I just see it from the WAW's POV. Everytime my H brought up the subject of the OM, I nearly hated him. The reason being that I saw a side of my H that I couldn't stand. I simply refused to talk to him about the OM! I never did....when he brought it up....I clamed up! I would back farther away from my H every time...and I think your W will also. I don't believe the OM is the real problem....I think it is that she doesn't want to deal with reality and wants the fairy tale. I've been there, so I see it. If you feel like your life sucks...and OM comes along or you go looking for him....then the fantasy kicks in.

If I had not listen to some good folks on this board.......oh, I hate to think where my life would be right now!

I sure hope things start to turn around soon.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!