What if he's different? Will going dark work?

[theotherhalf]

Thanks for your response.

I agree with all that you've said it's just that since he moved off our place the first of the month, that he has totally cut all ties to me. He doesn't answer phone calls, call me, and when he stops in to do chores he does just that and leaves. If he does have anything to come in house for it's just for that. If he looks at me at all it's with hate in his eyes.

Our anniversary was last Thursday. I called and asked him to come out for awhil. He said no you come in here. So I did. (Short version) He cooked (something he's never done) we chatted just about stuff. Then I spent the night. s** 4 times. I know it was wrong of me but my emotions of the day got the best of me. He didn't see or contact me till he had to stop at home Mon. He was very cold and short. So after he left I called him, asked what he was doing, did thursday night just remind him how much he hated me? He said that meant nothing really, and you knew that.

I don't know if things could get worse. (except if he files) We went through hell the first 3 months after the "bomb". As he was living in camper here and running at night, heavy drinking, drinking and driving, sneaking with OW alot, still doesn't admit. Dissappearing. Very cruel, agry, nothing positive at all. About 3 weeks ago he got demoted at work, next night he got stopped by cops, got a ticket for open container and speeding(should have been OWI but lucked out) That seemed to calm him. I told him to go on next day. He moved that weekend. Since then he stays at his home alot more. More quiet, depressed maybe. Does now seem to be seeing his family more but nothing hopefull towards me or the kids.

I'm just so frustrated as to how to be towards him. I am really afraid of the "space" or "dark". Out of sight out of mind never worked for us at all and I'm really afraid that it won't now. If he is there to be alone, to figure it out I'm all for it. I am willing to wait here and work on me. What I fear is that he is exploring with OW and that's wrong.

I asked him tonight if we are going to work on us? he said don't know, probably not. It was a long conversation and he didn't leave me any more hopeful than I was. Says he just wants to be alone and that he misses the kids but not me.

I want to wait for him because I believe in us and our M. I want to take this time to fix things wrong with me, to make me a better person. I just wish I could find hope.

Sorry so long...