I am so proud of you. I think you did everything just right! I would have been brusting at the seams to know what was going on with him. I can only imagine how hard it was not to pry. But, you did wonderful!!!
It is hard to understand what he is going through because he doesn't quite know himself. But, I think what he said to you when he came to bed was a good sign. I think he was also telling you to continue to be "you". However, if I might add...be the best "you" that is possible. We all can improve on ourselves. And, that is the point....that we work to be the best we can be (with or without the spouse)for the rest of our days. So, anything that I have suggested that would be way out of bounds for you....don't do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable.
I think your heart will lead you when to ease into some fun things and according to his response, he is ready to have a night or week-end where he doesn't have to think about all this serious stuff and try to relax. This will be the perfect time for you to be relaxed and easy-going around him. Have his favorite foods in stock (or cooked) and make sure his clothes are washed, etc......in other words, just take as much stress off/out of his week-end as you can. Now what I am about to use for an example is nothing directed to you personally...it is just an example. When a H is unhappy and under a lot of stress...then when his clothes are dirty when he starts to dress...guess who he gets mad at? If there is nothing cooked or to snack on around the house, if he can't walk through the room for stumbling over stuff....it just works on his nerves and make him mad at you. Now.....please, please don't even think that I am hinting that any of this goes on around your place....I am just trying to explain what I mean by doing whatever you can to take any stress off him while he is home with you and the kids.
It all goes back (with or without the funky fun stuff) making the time he is home....the best part of his 24 hours. I know I am old fashion in many ways....but in a lot of ways I'm not! I believe in men helping out around the house....especially when the wife works outside the home. But when all is said and done...the woman is still the one who sets the "mood" in the home. Whatever your attitude.....behavior.....emotions....(whatever you want to label it) shows through and the rest of the family picks up and follows it.
It places a big burden on you sweetie. It is so hard for you going through this stuff with him. You don't know what to do, or what his next move will be, or what the next step should be. Read all the books that have been mentioned to you. That helps. The Marriage Builders web site is great. Makes so much sense in what he teaches. There is tons of information on there to download.
Well, here's hoping that you have a great week-end.....wait this is just Wednesday....anyway...it gives you more time to prepare. You can do it sweetie. We are here when you need us. We may not always know the correct advice to give or what to say to make you feel better....but we are here to listen to you.
Take care of yourself.
Sandi2
Last edited by sandi2; 08/16/0701:54 AM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
