I understand your concern about the traveling and your husband working with OW who lives in another city (my sitch was similar there). This probably wouldn't help, but when my husband had to travel there he would call every night. The other thing is I'd try and GAL a little as well. Get yourself a babysitter one night, dress up and go out with friends. Make sure you are continuing to focus in on yourself when he's out of town. It will help you keep your mind off your imagination.
I can't say I still didn't worry or wonder at times. I knew that sometimes they'd have to come in contact, but focusing more on me and trying to continue to be somewhat independent and strong (and still loving and giving when he was around), was about the only thing I could do.
Hey, any chance your husband might be able to change positions in the company where he wouldn't travel so much. How often does he go there? Any chance you can travel there once or twice a year with him??? I know families that make "vacations" out of business trips.
I like your idea about being less uptight and maybe trying to be more involved in his friendship with OW so you deflate the romance out of it and show your own caring and generosity.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
