Have a couple more things to add.... don't say the word wife again. Instead apologize for how things have been and tell him for the children's sake you really want to be friends, it has been hard, but you share this long history so it's important to be FRIENDS and then bring in, very carefully, the concept that you are "best friends." Regardless of what happens, the history we share, I think in time, once the dust settles we can still be BEST friends.... for the kids sake.... By making him your friend and not your husband he can start seeing you more as an ally then an advisary.
ROOT. I have done that already, we had that discussion about three weeks ago, and I truly thinks he understands and believes it, and I do act that way. We get along just fine, we can discuss things about the kids and be friendly etc. It actually surprises me that it is so easy and not as strained as I thought it would be.
I am going to post an update of the last few days in a bit, going to go respond to your other post first.
