I can understand your aversion to digging for answers. It hurts if you prove suspicions of adultery right, it hurts to mistrust them, but it also hurts to wonder all the time. Have you told your wife how much it worries you that she has so much contact with him? Have you asked her what all the chitchat is about? She may not tell you or get angry(a definite bad sign), she could play it off as absolutely nothing (notice whether or not she seems tense or obviously dishonest), or there's the slim (very slim) possibility she may actually tell you what's being said and why.
The more you tell me, the more concerned I am. I worry that the affair possibly never ended. There was a point where I reverted to keeping my affair a secret while supposedly returning to my husband. While I hate to give you more worries, be careful. No one wants to be played a fool once, but twice is more hurt than anyone deserves. If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck...you get the picture.
The grass may be greener, but then again, it may also be astroturf. ~Amy C Brown
