So I should act unconditionally towards her, and she is allowed to act conditionally towards me?
Yes. By the words of your own faith.
"If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you." Luke 6:32-38
Granted, every principle can be carried to ridiculous and damaging lengths. And no, none of us can live up to the above perfectly. And yes, she should be trying to apply this too.
But even after all the caveats, Yes, you must be wiling to act unconditionally toward her. What she chooses to do is ultimately between her and God and not your responsibility; what you do is between you and God and *is* your responsibility.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
