Well I got like 1 1/2 hours of sleep this afternoon. I had some absolutely bizzarre dreams. I was trying to get somewheres, and things kept going wrong. I had to drop kid off at this extremely dumpy place, with all these weird people. Would not go until wife got there, even though all the people were telling me to leave, she shows up and is absolutly evil towards me. Trying to get back so I could go to work, and car broke down. Kept meeting all of these extremely weird people. Dont remember it all as it is fading, but bizzarre..........Whoa
Anyways, I have to have some supper, and get ready for work. Hope everyone has a good night. I am going to try.
Wow I dont feel like going to work tonight. This is always the worst part, just before I go, after having a long streach off. I know when I get there it will be better, better yet after I get the first hour in. Once I hit my first break, I will almost be on my stride.
Going to try to keep my thoughts upbeat tonight. Not gonna get on a crank about her or my sitch.....
Managed to not let my thoughts drift to far into crapland last night. Had a pretty good night. Hopefully get some decent sleep today. I shall see what this week holds.....
Amazing to see so many new people here this morning........is this like a virus going around and destroying marriages? Maybe we have it to good now? Wonder what the divorce rate was like during the Great Depression........for some reason I am thinking it was a whole lot lower than now. Times are tough, people stick together. Times are easy, well hell......lets create some problems??
you know i notice that i have the bad thoughts creeping in at the same time of the day. i have found that if i occupy that time with activities and surround myself with loved ones then my focus is switched. keep that journal and you will notice that right before work is the tough time and notice how you deal with it and when it works well.
Well nothing new to report on my front. I am not really thinking on it too much, but I just got the feeling that it is the calm before the storm going on here. Bring it on I guess, I riden out some storms in my life before. I will make it.
LOL.....just went up to our local St Vinnys just looking for replacement furniture, nothing that wanted furniture wise. But, there was a kick butt stereo sitting there for $25 .... I couldnt resist, so now as I type I am jamming!!! Sometimes ya just gotta do something for yourself!!
Well I just got from my daughter that her and mommy are moving in 7 days hence. So I would imagine that this coming weekend while I am at work, the move will take place.
Today i was 10 minutes late picking up daughter from sitters, my cell phone rings........"Hey you are supposed to get kid you know" (In a snotty tone of voice) I was just pulling up. Excuse the F out of me.....kinda hard gettting motivated on 4 hours of sleep.
I am getting so fed up with this whole thing ...... I see a better future for myself, regardless of the outcome, just getting there will be the challenge. Tired. Grouchy. Kid is driving me nuts....blah.
Also lately have been realizing about WAW, yes part of me still loves her, and does wish for a happy reazolution to all this chit. But part of me is really beggining to hate her for all this, and what she is putting me and my child through. I do feel like I am turning away, growing colder towards her. Anyhow enough for now...
Well my darling daughter is doing her very best today to push every button of mine that she knows how to push. No matter what I did for her today she isnt happy. I take her to her favorite restaurant, (think golden arches) for supper. We get our food (slop) sit down, and she does not want to eat here. I take her for ice cream later, she doesnt want to have ice cream here wants to go to the place on other end of town. Says to me, "you are the worst dad ever" "why do you always treat me like dirt?" and so forth........
Held myself in check, but boy o boy.......if I ever talked to my dad like that when I was a kid, it would have been a quick backhand.
Certainly seeing her mother in her today. Wonder if there is a LRT or a going dark step for children??? Well at least she is in bed, hopefully sleeping soon.
I think that she is really tired today for some reason, I know that I am........
