Oh sweetie, I recognize the panic in this post.

It makes my heart hurt, just thinking about where you are now.

Don't make yourself sick only reading about this stuff.

Please, if you can accept that this will take a very long time, and if you can accept that are going to stand no matter what.

Then............

Try to relax.

Do not go overboard with the reading. Be knowledgeable yes, but don't let THIS consume your life.

What are you doing for you lately? what are you doing for yourself, that has nothing to do with all of this mess.

Live Simply
Love Generously
Care Deeply
Speak Kindly
Leave the rest to God