There and Back, #2

[SallyM]

mk, I spent a little time re-reading old e-mails (what can I say, I never seem to delete them). omg, I had forgotten some stuff. and some of it was me just going off on him. I did have a good laugh at some of his excuses and such...at the time, they pissed me off, now I see how pathetic they are.

I am irritated, though, because H still sounds pissy on the phone. I just called him (yeah, bad db-er) because i figured he'd want to know that I finally found out when S5 was going to Kindergarten (pm, grumble grumble). he sounded like he could care less. not only that, didn't answer his phone...called me back 10 minutes later. he's so with her.

or maybe she broke up with him. yeah, that's it. she realized what she was getting and threw his ass to the curb. oh how I would laugh. I have this vision of him sitting there, heartbroken. serves you right, jerk.

but then, that's just me and my maybes again.

this pm kindergarten is going to be tough...I have no idea how I can continue my much needed therapy. will talk to my therapist next week and see if we can figure something out. I go tues mornings, and H has been able to watch the kids because of his job, but now that he'll have a real office job, he won't be able to. the twins are in am preschool, and I was crossing fingers that S5 would get am K so it would have been golden.

ahhh, well, he did get the good teacher, so looking on the bright side.

MK, try to avoid the conversations if possible...ask yourself this. do they change anything? do they make you feel better? do they bring you closer to your goals? one thing that helped me was when my friend recommended that instead of having the conversations that were in reality pointless, to write letters to him in my journal. I could still express everything, but they didn't end up biting me in the ass because he never actually saw them. trust me, he's heard a lot already, and nothing I say or do means anything to him, so why bother? I ended up feeing awful every time we did have the conversations, they didn't change anything...it all backfired on me. once I stopped, I felt much, much better.