But there was nothing going on the last year...

[runningoutoftime]

Being nice and loving someone enough to let them go and telling them you want them to be happy (even if you HATE them for the moment... and believe me the fury and anger I had toward my husband was HUGE!!!), is not the same as accepting what they are doing. You can still support someone, even if you think they are making a mistake. If you love someone (or loved them in the past, sometimes it's hard to remember loving a spouse during this kind of crap), you do want them happy. And tell me, what seems stronger... A woman who is calm, working towards making herself and her life better in spite of a lot of negative stuff, or an angry bitter one telling her husband how much he's hurting everyone and what he's doing is so bad? When I was younger I used to react and get mad about things easily. I can tell you almost 90% of the time I regretted that exposed anger and lack of control.

Make sure you tell him you want him HAPPY and you are sooo glad he's happy with her.... even though, you might kind of slide in a comment about how most people's true happiness is ultimately with their family. Stress the FAMILY word in light happy conversations. How you love your little family. You might kind of mention how it's a little sad he's not really part of it anymore. But you feel so good about having your children and your family is most important to you... and you wish him the very best. And you KNOW he's happier now and that makes you happy!!! If you can kind of slip these little things in (happiness and family) in a clever and joking manner while supporting him you are cleverly planting seeds of doubt (think reverse psychology). But be very careful you do this in a very small way, otherwise it will look like manipulation.

I know your ultimate preference is that there's no OW around your child, but unfortunately we don't have that type of control. Do you think he might be uncomfortable about OM around his children? Hummmmm...

I used to tell my husband, very nice, smiling, and lovingly.... "Don't worry I plan to pick out an awesome stepdad for your kids!" Hee hee!!!!

Now, buddy... you need to go out and get a life!!! (Friends male and female, but no actual one on one dating with men... always keep in mind you are too vulnerable. But H doesn't need to know about your personal life. Let him wonder!!!!).