Not so Shocked 4

[nickyf]

Journaling

Been feeling quite good today , busy with work and D3. Husband came to visit D3 earlier seemed down again, he never said anything but i could tell. As my husband was leaving D3 started to get a bit upset because she wanted him to stay, she even said to him that she wanted him to live here. I could tell that this upset him but thankfully by the time my husband actually left i manage to get her smiling and giggling.

Another thought i had yesterday was even if my husband ever did want to come back, he would think that there has been too much damage done. If he ever decided to talk to any of his family members about it, they would also probably say to him that there has been too much damage and that he should not even bother trying. They would feel that i would never be able to trust him and so never be able to get past it.

I on the other hand completley disagree with this, if someone is willing to show you by thier actions that you can trust them, then i know that it is possible. I have heard of a few couples that have got back together and thier relationship is better than before because you are both aware of where you both went wrong in the relationship and so as a couple you are able to focus on those issues. For instance, one of the issues my husband and i had was that we never spent enough alone time together, i know this now. One thing i have learnt through all this is that you should never take anything for granted in life, you should cherish the things that are important to you. I am upset with myself for not realisng this when my husband was still here but all i can do is learn from my mistakes and vow never to make them again in any future relationship, whether it be with my husband or someone else.

Hope everyone is ok

Nicky