So glad you took some time off! Hope you enjoyed yourself.

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any anyone who takes one of those careers, and is a parent, is just as much a Bad Parent. They are abdicating their role as parent, and dumping the responsability on the other parent. Plus, depriving their child of their presence. Bad thing to do to a child.


I don't want to beat a dead horse, but doctors, lawyers, farmers and many people in the corporate world who travel all require a lot of time away from the family, in turn, depending on their spouses to take care of the children. I agree that there are people who can be "workaholics" thus neglecting their children and family however there are great parents in demanding careers. I think it depends on the person and the agreement between both spouses on the best way that they can be a family.

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Partial success, is actually the biggest reinforcer of "keep doing exactly what you are doing".


I agree with this. I think this is why he has clung so hard to this band even through all the hard times. I guess where I was coming from before is that I think H believes success with the band and success financially will make him happy. I think H needs to realize that only he can make himself happy; not money, not fame, not another woman...sometimes I think he might have to experience these things in order to realize that happiness comes from within, happiness is a choice no matter what sitch you are in. H is not one to think too far ahead. He even said to me that you can't think of the future until the present is fixed...whatever that means...it just showed me he can't think ahead. I think H is too far gone from reality to ever make it back. Even if he catches a glimpse of reality, I think it would be too hard for him to face it. I don't see much hope for H, I don't have much faith in him and I really think I am giving up. H received a wedding invititation in the mail the other day addressed to H and a guest and I had no idea who these people are! He really has a whole new life for himself now that does not include me. He's a good dad to D10 and I guess at this point, that is all I can ask for. Sorry for being a downer...I feel like this is partly acceptance and partly hopelessness...not necessarily a bad place to be. I feel sad, I cry sometimes, but I don't feel so devastated like I used to, just a feeling that this is what it is.