Wow CVA - alot of stuffing going on for you in the last 24hrs or so since I last checked. You have already received so much great feedback here already so I am not sure what else I can add... But:
About being a clingon - don't beat yourself up about this - it is a natural feeling to have in going through this process. You should feel proud of yourself for recognizing this, how it is affecting you and taking steps to improve it.
I also wouldn't read too much into the "i don't know" - I do think there are sometimes where the WAS truly doens't know and they are concerned about how we/you might interpret their responses. For instance if she were just to say "yes, I think we should go to the C together" - she would probably be thinking that she is giving you the signal that she has decided she wants to work on the marriage when she is probably not there yet. I know I have this problem with my H, sometimes I'll ask him something simple like "I'm going to the supermarket, do you want to come or do you want me to get anything for you?" And I'll get an "I don't know" followed by 5-10 minutes of thought/silence.
Confidence is also KEY! I find that for myself, the more I do things for myself & socialize with new people the more confident I become and the more I realize how much I have to offer. Confidence is one of the most attractive things about it person, it's that lure, you need to make sure you show that to her.
I am also going to give you a little pep talk here:
You have given up so much of your own time on these boards to help other people with their R issues and to offer them your thoughts, support & advice. That means that you are a very caring and giving person. You have a sense of humor throughout all of your threads and have made people LOL & :). That means that you have a great personality. You had mentioned how your wife was hot & that you felt you were living above your station. But then you also mentioned that your other ex was also hot - so it doesn't seem to be a fluke. That means that you probably just don't realize how attractive you really are (which also can be very attractive!). You have been very open and acknowledging of your feelings and your flaws. Which means that you are self-reflective and interested in personal growth.
Think about all of these things next time you talk with your W and truly believe them! In time, she will see what she is missing...
