some advice pls oldtimers...

[HBT]

As a relative newcomer to DB and MLC board, I am trying to learn and decipher the techniques as fast as I can; but I am human and my strength and emotions are all over the place. I certainly didn't choose to be here-no one does I know. But I do need support! That much I'm certain. The MLC disease is real and it should be diagnosed and treated as such. Thank god for forums like this or I believe I would lose my sanity! Just reading these posts; I'm simply in awe of the similarities.

Please refer to my previous thread for background; but I need to move forward as my h has moved out and I'm feeling/well reeling in emotions I'm having difficulty handling. With 2 kids at home watching the events unfold; I know cannot be healthy.

Re: please help with advice, new here, H in mlc

Presently, its Wednesday and h moved to ss apt on sat-to be alone and gain his 'anonimity' so I can't 'check up on him'. I have no desire to do that but do miss my h terribly. Since then, h keeps stopping by to check in or see us/me?? I'm not sure; but for short periods which kills me at the end; why does he have to or want to leave?? He says he loves me but...just not sure he wants or can be with me. No future for us although future is exactly what was talked about until @ 3 months ago! He says he was just 'trying' and it was not really what he felt. Our retirement place is now up for sale!

Anyway, I have been reading like a maniac and do appreciate all the feedback and support so far; as I said this forum is a godsend. As I study the 'stages' I feel this has been going on far longer than I've realized. Even today; I think I'm seeing depression in him as he is very 'withdrawn and serious'. He says there is no ow but I can't be 100%. The lies had been spewing on a daily basis-so out of character of h. He was pushed out-so fast and furious-I think because of this fact; facing up to them. He apologizes constantly for 'hurting us' and the guilt is real. I just want to shake him and make him realize what is standing in front of him...