You say he needs to quit his job. Couldn't he just ask for a transfer to another school? Quitting is such a dangerous step financially. Will he be able to find another job in time for the beginning of school? I understand that he needs to stop seeing OW at work, but I worry that maybe demanding that he quit is too harsh.
As for calling Retrouvaille, that is a pretty easy step. He could do that without dire consequences. Probably he feels that he has time on that. They must have a lot of people who want to go to Retrouvaille in NJ, cuz we didn't have to do that here in Florida. I guess they can be picky about who they help. It must be really hard to wait for him to do that. I wish I could think of a way to make that happen.
