I agree with CVA -- if you firmly set boundaries with H, and tell him how you really feel and not let him belittle those feelings, he will begin to have more respect for you, and as a result your R/M will get better. It will be different for him (and you) at first, but you will both adjust and be happier in the long run (both of you).
I needed this from my W too, as I was the big bully in our R/M.
