He's still with her, and I'm moving on (part 3)

[Heartbroken]

Hope,

I have never posted to you but have been following your sitch all along.

My H and I almost filed too. Somehow he overcame the pride thing before it got to far.

Are you sure your H even knows you would be willing to try one more time? I see your pride starting to get in the way too...

My H was so screwed up that he thought D was the only way out - he did not know how to come back to me and our kids. I told him that for once he needed to put his neck out on the line to take a risk for us and our marriage. I was no longer a sure thing for him but at least he could say in the end that he had really tried to help keep us together - up until this point I had been doing ALL the work too. He first needed to end it COMPLETELY with OW (NO CONTACT AT ALL)!!!!! He agreed and we are going strong for 6 weeks now. August 9th was the one yr he told me he wanted to D.


Can you put the D on hold - even temporarily?? I see how much you love him and being another LBS I get what you are saying about wanting to be chased, pursued and convinced to take him back unfortunately I think that rarely happens or it doesn't happen at first recociliation. My H says he needs to work at his feelings for me and he does have them but he also had real ones for his OW - even as screwed up as he was he still had feelings. Sometimes it still hurts to think he was going to throw his whole life away for her - and I have never had him feel this way about me in the 21 yrs I have known him. But I am willing to give up some of my feelings in order to have a new 'us' back'

Make sure you are being truthful with yourself - I would hate to see you divorce and then hook back up (10% of D's)...

I think your H is trying to reach out to you at some level - don't let your pride or skeptism kill it so quickly.

I hope I have not offended you - just my thoughts!

HB