Being immune to others approval could easily mean you are a jerk, or a sociopath.
I don't necessarily think so... being immune to something doesn't mean you also give up a sense of personal accountability, or that it makes you egotistical, or any less empathetic.
For example, let's say you are an aspiring artist, and the art teacher you have, whom you admire and respect, says to you, one day, that you will never amount to anything as an artist.
We have all heard this example in one form or another, so I don't think I have to rehash the avenues one may or may not take, given this, or some similar scenario.
I think what I am driving at here is the expectation we place on outcomes. If I give you XXX, am I expecting you to act or respond in a certain way? If I have no expectation of outcome, how you choose to act or respond is going to have little affect on me.
There is no judgment here, folks. It is an observation, and to think that we can all do this, all the time, and win THE DIFFERENTIATION AWARD OF THE YEAR is not really my point.
It is catching YOURSELF in the act of moving in and out of it that I believe can lift a lot of the misguided blame we ALL throw at our partners... when we see that we have a lot more power and control over our situations than we perhaps initially thought.
How that happens or when it happens or why it happens... I don't really care... it'll happen to different people, for different reasons, at different times... or it won't.
It's in being able to see it AT ALL, and then once you do... what and how you do something with that knowledge that is the real kicker. Fran seems to be coming into some serious understanding of this general concept, and learning how to apply it to her particular situation.
We all understand that theory is a great and wonderful thing. We all understand that applying that theory in meaningful ways is something else.
My 'fishing for a compliment' line of thought, was but one example of how I think I understand this theory, and how I've misstepped in my own life. I think it is an easy one to get, and one most, if not all of us, have been guilty of... it's one I think is pretty easy to 'own.' In the act of 'owning' it, we are not labeled as a sexual pervert or egotistical sociopath.
