vacation is over, I am leaving

[limbo]

welcome back to me, h told me this morning that he still with ow and is leaving...i am so angry I just don't know what to do!

help!

[stewart10]

limbo:


I am so sorry. Was it something that happened on vacation? HOw was it between you two on vacation?

[limbo]

Nothing really happened, the first week was great, 2nd things changed, he wasn't as loving, he said he sought her out 4 weeks or so ago...he thought by going on vacation it would help but didn't.
he went out for a walk over an hour ago and is not back, so I am sure has gone to her

[bar]

This is a truly awful time, limbo. Waiting and wondering and wishing. Cry and scream as much as you can while he's not there. Then, I personally wrote down my feelings and fears.
Try not to jump on him when he returns with a barrage of questions. Above all, when you're done ranting alone, calm down by whatever method works for you.

Whatever you do, don't appear a total wreck when he comes.

Keep posting, bar

[stewart10]

Nothing really happened, the first week was great, 2nd things changed, he wasn't as loving, he said he sought her out 4 weeks or so ago...he thought by going on vacation it would help but didn't.
he went out for a walk over an hour ago and is not back, so I am sure has gone to her

I am sorry. How could going on the vacation help if he sought her out before the vacation. He obviously was not putting forth the effort to make things better if he had her in the back of his mind the whole time. Don't start to wonder what he is doing. You don't know for sure what he is doing, and even if he is with her, it does not change anything. You can't control what he does. He has apparently made his decision. The only thing you can do is improve yourself and make him realize what he is missing out on. I know, easier said than done. It always is easier to give advice than it is to take your own. I have problems with this myself.

[limbo]

i was very calm, however I did tell him he was selfish and immature.
and that he will regret this one day when she does to him the same thing, and that I hope she does so he know wheat he has done to me.
At this point I haven't even cried, I am just angry, that we are in debt because of this holiday..that he will leave me stuck with it, that he is hurting the kids, and that i don't deserve to be treated this way! after 20 years I deserve better!

[bar]

You sure do! What a creep to dump the debt on you.

Keep posting and let us know what happens next,

bar

[Puddle]

Hi limbo,

I am so sorry you're going through this! Isn't it amazing that we fear and fear and then the thing we're most afraid of happens and we continue to breathe? You WILL get through this, and as you continue to focus on you, you'll be better than ever. Which doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell. Yes, you deserve much, much better.

Take care.

[MissingMyHoney]

limbo, dont think of it as a debt. You have tried to do something for the benefit of each person and it didnt worked as planned. It failed. Dont let that make you so miserable that you would give up HOPE. Hang in there, the pasture will eventually gets green again. I agree you dont deserved to be treated that way. That's exactly what my W says to me and now I can give her the very last dime I have.

You know what I have been thinking all through this time - we all have children and one day our S or D will get married. Do we really want to see them go through these same events we are experiencing. I think NOT!!!

[limbo]

Well he is still at home, again saying this is were he wants to be, but do I believe it, why do I want him to stay? Am I really this crazy? God help me I do love him and I want to keep my family together.
Am I doing the right thing? Am I just going to get hurt yet again?