NA, first I would like to apologize for not responding specifically to your comment on my thread. I did see it and thought I had responded and that I appreciated you checking in with me.
No problem!
Originally Posted By: CVA
No, I dont think you have done anything wrong, I am not a fly on the wall but you are doing what you can. You need to be proud of it, not constantly second guessing, it tends to show (I think). Always re-evaluate. The S is not the end and may be the only way for him to figure this out. No question it is hard on you and it sucks, but at least you will be home w/ your kids which you can focus on. I know you want him not to go, but the more you tug, the more he will push back.
I guess I'm looking at this as the "don't continue to go down cheeseless tunnels" issue. I don't want to keep doing more of the same if it is just driving him further away.
Originally Posted By: new_attitude
I also need to figure out exactly what this S means. Should I bring this up to him? Should we have "rules"? Do we have to divvy up time with the kids already? Is he expecting to date? Does he think he can some waltzing back whenever he feels like it, for a visit or permanently? Would it be too much to ask him about childproofing the apt? I can't imagine having the kids stay with him there without my seeing it. Actually, I can't imagine the kids staying there at all.
Originally Posted By: CVA
If you think he will listen, you sound like a person that is good at laying things out. Would he agree to some ground rules or no? I personally go everyday with no specicific rules and I can tell you it is not easy not knowing when it is OK to come over, just call to talk or not? kids? whatever, I think it would be easier, again if he will listen.
He would probably listen, but I don't know if I should be the one to bring it up. Part of me says, "You want to be alone, I'll leave you alone, really alone." I have a lot of bitterness in me that I'm recognizing over the last few days. I can't get over the feeling that he is being selfish and he doesn't recognize the effect on the rest of us. I'm tired of having him not ask about me- not even a simple "How are you? What did you do today?" I'm actually appreciating my time alone right now.
Thanks for reading and posting to me. I appreciate it so much.
