When my H went to IC for some other issues he explained (leaving out his A of course) that we had been separated for some time and SOME of the things he had done vs my reactions to them, which were not always DB'ing and good...the C told H that "Your wife has true love for you. That is rare, most women would have kicked you to the curb."
Right now you are showing your H true love...things that I might do instead of kicking him out is ask him why he needs to talk to her instead of you...leave him alone physically...if he wants to ML (which my H didn't) I would tell him you don't share him physically or emotionally with another woman although you do love him and hope he figures out what he wants...you aren't asking him to leave because of that bond of love you have "right now"...and you pray that you won't lose that...but you never know?
I would continue communication with him, enjoying his company, going out...but keep it more platonic...let him know you are giving him time to fall out of love with OW so that he is free and clear to fall in love with you...IF that is what he wants...and then I used to tell my H (again not DB'ing) that I truly did love him and that if he thought SHE could love him more...I thought not...now he does admit she probably didn't love him and he is fairly sure he really didn't love her...it was just a mixed up mess of emotions he got involved with...
