DGM - detaching, GALing, moving on...

[JMC]

Just need to update and vent. Went to an attorney's office yesterday to initiate the filing process. After seeing the Penthouse Forum emails including nude and provocative photos from my W to the soldier in the mideast who she met last month and did in the bed of a stranger's pickup truck, I thought to myself 'enough is enough - I can't take this any more'.

After telling this story (in addition to the one that she is the OW with another man who has a serious girlfriend, and uses yet another man's first name as the password to her corporate email) to the attorney, he put down his pen and said "WOW!! - Have you suggested psychiatric counseling of any kind?" This man is 66 years old and has been practicing family law for decades. His having that kind of reaction only confirmed what RCR responded above, and gave me confidence that 'hey, this really is not ALL my fault'.

Anyway, I am going through with the legal adoption of my daughter by marriage (might take 3-4 weeks) and then begin the process to end our marriage.

I still hope and pray that my W comes to her senses, but I am begining to realize that most likely will not happen.

I called her last night on my way to a Divorce Care meeting just to let her know what I was doing regarding our daughter. While she and my daughter both know and approve of this process, I had not initiated anything legally to this poing. I called my stbx because I did not want her to initiate the divorce process before the adoption was final. We had a decent 5-10 minute conversation during which she asked me if I would want to meet for a drink sometime. I hesitated, but said 'ok', to which she replied 'is that alright', I responded 'sure, call me'.

I love talking with her and wish we could be together and improve upon things, but have a difficult time with her choices right now. I realize that I have to get on with my life.

By the way, at that Divorce Care meeting, I was by far, at 45 yrs old, the youngest person in the room. This is the second time at two different venues where this has occurred. Although I respect the views and experience of those older than me, it was somewhat depressing upon leaving. I was thinking to myself 'am I the only 45 year old soon-to-be divorced guy having problems with this?'