Well, CVA, I just got yelled at by W, for her mistake, see my latest post if you want to know more so I don't really think I am in a good place to help you. but what the hey, I'll give you my thoughts, they don't cost anything.
So obliviously, she is confused by your actions, isn't that something, they want us to change and when we do and they see it, they question it.
I can tell by the way you handled the call, that you were most definitely in control from beginning to end, sounds like she isn't used to that, Good for you! Her deferring is her way of getting away from that, I know, mine does it all the time, I mean really if you were argumentative, and used your anger, than she would stand and fight, right? until she got mad enough and either you or her hung up the phone. Been there, too, still there. Not my anger, hers, happened tonight.
As far as the dreaded I don't know, I hate that one, myself, but that is the cry of the WAW, now isn't it. They think they know it all, but they really just don't know anything, do they?
I would say that everything you said, did need to to addressed, and you said it right, so you should feel proud. Keep up the good work, I don't know if that is what you were looking for, but I gave it a shot, Take care.
Thanks Rain Go see "Oldtimers" response to my question in Helmrich's thread about when to have a talk about where we are (an R talk).
He basically said if u need to have a talk, and they dont initiate it, there is no R.
Something to think about, like I (we) have nothing else to do!
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Thanks CVA, I know I am not there, yet, after tonight, I don't even know if we are friends, anymore, on her side of the coin, but I will check out Helmrich's thread for it, for if/when we ever get there.
CVA, I finally found it, persistence pays off, Thanks again.
Well that talk has happened, too many times, a lot at first, and unfortunately we seem to keep having it, all I get from her is it is over, and so now I have decided to back off, completely, and just try to be friends, but her actions and from what my kids have told me, tell a different story, and I know the whole don't believe what they say, and only half of what they do, so where am I?
I guess somewhere in limbo. and limbo really sucks!
Nomo I just asked Oldtimer "her" thoughts on when you actually have any kind of talk w/ spouse if your R is in Limbo. She said, if they dont initiate, there is no R so no R talked needed.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
CVA, What if they keep blaming you for everything? and that is how the R talk starts?
I don't bring it up, she finds some kind of fault with me, and then she is off, bringing up the past, blaming me for the current sitch, all that garbage. Should I just keep quiet, tell her I don't want to talk about it, I try not to defend myself, anymore, or blame her, but the truth is the truth, she is the one who walked away. Like I said I take my blame for my part in the problems in the M, but I refuse to take any blame in the destruction of our family, That one is hers, alone.
