I think I echo everyones comments here when I say thank you for the insight. Often we try to understand why the OP is happening and how to change that sitch.
I have the utmost respect for your H and it sounds like to OP needs to 'get a life'.
My sitch is that the W is still in contact with OM, but not seen him since May. Still living together, going to counselling and sharing the same bed, so by actions I will work at showing her that reality and the grass is still green.
BTW if anyone does berate you, me and the boys will come round to visit
