CVA - Angels vs. Devils

[Nomopo]

That exchange seemed to go Ok

I agree.

Me: SO I ASKED, So where are you on all that right now, we havnt really talked about it, do you want to go see someone together?
W: THE DREADED, I DONT KNOW.
Me: Can you tell me what that means?

It is amazing how I still get no response. She did say we will have to talk about this later. NOT GOOD?

I don't think I don't know is bad. It's better than no. And when you asked "Can you tell me what that means?" she was silent and said let's discuss it later? Fine. Not good or bad, but kids may have been around and you admitted she was getting them down. Act as if it will be positive, not negative.

She says, "Ummm, yeah, well continue this aother time."

Now you are pushing her too much. Controlling? Porbably need to back off here.

Basically she is trying to get the kids to bed, her mom is waiting on her to get the boys out of the bathroom and no one can get to bed till she starts so she just defers.

Makes sense.

Anyhow, the conversation was not filled with any anomosity or anger or anything, just polite conversation with no commitment to work on it from her.

So it is fine. Act as if tomorrow. I suspect you will get your answer before too long. Be patient. Let her bring it to you. Don't forget to ask her to see your new C so new C can help you. Start there if you have too, not with couples counseling. If she likes C, then couples counseling may be an option.

Based on this conversation, I have noe clue what she will say. I mentioned her maybe going to see my new C much like she did with Old C I think before the "I DONT KNOW" comment and she says "well, you are basically starting over so..."

So what? What was her point?

I calmly point out that that is not really the way I saw it because I was starting at a much different place then when I started with old C. She says "yes, I understand that, just pointing out that he had history with you before I saw him".

So your new C got (or will get) your history in a few sessions. Then when C is ready she will talk to W.

Nomo