Sighh...I'm so sorry. You are really struggling and understandably so!
I'm kind of down tonight again. Part of the journey, I know. I am back to schoool and had teacher days yesterday and today. One of my good guy friends and I talked for a long time as I filled him in on my sitch and that I filed. He said "Good for you! I think he has been hiding stuff from you all along and thought maybe you were in denial" ughhhhh. Also told me that weirdo baseball mom's name came up about a month ago....heard she'd been sleeping with some other guy.
Last night we had open house at school and I took D8. Boys went w/H b/c he had a booth to run. When D8 and I got there, weirdo baseball mom (whom I think he is now seeing???) was hanging out at his booth w/him and her boys were all over him. When I left, I looked over and her S8 (in my D8's class - ahhhhhhhh!!) was on the back of H's chair w/his arm's around his neck. I gave him a shi**y look and left.
When H came to get the kids later, he tried to talk w/me and I answered and went upstairs. He came this morning to get kids off to school and I didn't say 2 words to him. Not rude. Just ignored him.
I think this is another corner I'm turning. I'm really trying to let him go b/c he is just is not the man I know and not one I every loved. But, it hurts me sooooo bad to know he is still being unfaithful, even when I asked him to wait until D was final. My mind knows the facts and that he is an alien blah blah blah. My heart doesn't see it that way.
Sometimes, I think I will never find another partner who is whole...whom I can trust completely......whom I have complete faith in. That makes me truly sad. My heart is broken, my faith shaken and my soul shattered. Tonight it just seems so dim.
ON a brighter side, the drywaller has started upstairs and the heating/cooling guy is coming Thursday to run heat/air to the upstairs. Slowly, but surely.
Me-BS 38 X-WS 36 Separated 11/15/2006 Filed for D 8/1/2007 Divorce Final 12/21/2007 S13, S13 (twins), D9 Married 13 Yrs Together 20 Yrs
