H called again tonight. At first I thought he just wanted to talk to me, but then he broke the news...we have our court date, Aug. 28th. I don't know if this is karma kicking H in the @ss or just an ironic coicidence, but that is H's 29th birthday. There are 365 days in a year...it seems a little odd that it is on his birthday. He said that isn't a very good day for him. I thought...it should be...you will be free to be with OW. You won't have to worry about being married to me any more. This is exactly what you want...it should be a great birthday present if he was so unhappy in our marriage that he had to have an affair. I thought it would go fast because it is uncontested, but I'm just not ready for it to go this fast. That is only 2 weeks from today, yikes!

I did so good on the phone with him last night, but I couldn't keep it together tonight. I really didn't say much...he knew I was crying. He said this isn't really what I want but this is for the best at this point. I didn't really respond. I'm done trying to talk him into working on the M or ending it with OW. He knows in his heart that he could postpone this divorce if he would really want to give this marriage 150%. I don't need to say it at this point. I think that in his twisted mind, he thinks that he is doing the best thing for me by divorcing me. He asked me again why I was going to go to court. I told him I needed to do it for the closure. I can't just wake up on the 29th and be divorced. He said this is already hard enough on me and you being there is going to be torture. I was thinking...well, for once I am going to do what I need to do for myself. You have lived the last 10 months of your life and not cared a rat's @ss about my feelings. He needs to see me...he needs to see the marriage that he destroyed be thrown away. He ended the conversation with a "take care of yourself". He is still supposed to come get some stuff on Sunday, so that day is going to be interesting to say the least. I know I will not be able to keep it together...but he is not going to get any begging or pleading from me. If he wants to hold up this divorce, he's going to have to put in the effort. I'm done.

Last edited by hopeless11; 08/15/07 12:26 AM.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07
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"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."