I'm so sorry to hear that it didn't go the way you'd hoped.
Take a minute to pat yourself on the back...You have plenty to be proud of. Read back over your posts and look at everything you accomplished. I expect that, in some twisted way, you feel a sense of relief. When I read some of the posts here, I think to myself, "Wow, if their S had any idea how much love existed and how much work these folks are putting forward, they'd change their minds!" And that's something you can feel good about, if you can even remember what "good" feels like. You worked. Hard. The amount of labor that you put into this thing, when it would have been easier to give up, really shows your true character. It shows that you have values, strength and incredible stamina. And it shows that you believe in yourself. Take a few minutes to be proud of that.
And, as everyone else has said, time is still on your side. In the meantime, you'll be able to to the most effective DB of your life. This minute is your chance to grieve and heal. The next step is for you to dust yourself off and say, "I'm pretty good."
Next time you see her, give her a smile and a wink. Make her think you know something she doesn't..And you do. You know that, for you, tomorrow will be a better day, no matter what happens.
