Sweetie,

Treat your marriage as not a fake marriage, but as a real marriage. Fake it. Fake having a real marriage.

Fake having a loving husband. You do some of the time. Fake having a happy home. You do some of the time.

Have fun, laugh, love and live. Don't share with people who are negative about your situation, as that will drag you down.

You are only a doormat if you are acting foolishly submissive. To me, your story sounds like you are a smart woman, a non doormat.

Take care of yourself, please

J