Your sitch sounds so familliar to mine. I won't go in to all my details but I have been through many of the same things financially and my W is now in MLC because of it. I don't know if your W is in MLC but she is definately spinning.
It is obvious that your financial issues are the root of your problems. Your trust and resepect issues have stemmed from this. In my mind you can argue your point and the OM and who should move and who shouldn't all you want, but until you take control of your life financially you will make little progress. Your W probably had a picture in her mind of how her life was to go and it is not happening to her plan and she is panicing. Life has bumps. It is not a fairy tale. I'm also guessing that there has been collection calls and that is very stressful. Being that you are responsible for the financial issues, don't under estimate the feeling of being blindsided that you W feels.
For the time being, accept your M as it is and address your financial issues. Get a stable income and deal with the debt that I'm sure you have. If that means going bankrupt, then do it. Simply talking about it getting better or waiting for it to get better doesn't help and it won't show your W that you are fixing it or that you are reliable. You may not come out the other side with as much stuff, but the stuff you have will be secure and that will help your R with your W.
As far as the kids go and who should have them, come up with an amicable solution for the time being. If you go to all out war with your W over the kids or anything else, you start your battle for your M on negative ground. The second thoughts that you feel are there will quickly fade. However, Frank is right. You have to Man up and take control over your life. Esspecially financially. Your W has been practiacally begging you to do it and you haven't.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
