PennyMB,
What about LRT? Extreme 180? Plan B?
If he still has "full" access to you, then he has his cake. It sounds as if in some ways you are still his "rock" as in you are still meeting some of his emotional needs. Maybe by not meeting those EN of his anymore it can change the dynamic.
Check these out:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html
http://survivinginfidelity.com/healing_library/divorce/no_contact.asp
http://survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=55814&page=1#Post55814
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=24&page=1

I hope this helps. It pains me to read of you and Yoyo's and everyone else's pain. You are good people. You deserve more and better. And most important of all, IMHO, is that you've earned a better life. You've been strong, honorable, forgiving, and have looked at yourselves and have owned your part in this. You are being and growing into wonderful people. I truly wish you the best. And I am here if I can be of any help as you all have helped me.
Thanks. BoB.