Are we piecing yet?

[Have Faith]

lwb - I had asked my H to read books and go to C and didn't get very far either, however, he was willing to complete the questionnair after I had completed mine and had given it to him. I also found that while he wouldn't read a whole book (except he did read a lot of "How to Survice an Affair") he was open to chapters in a book. This sometimes lead to him reading more.

As for last night - I knew that when H got to the house, after his workout he would be hungry, so I made dinner. I figured by the time he got his stuff together and moved, it would be late and so I was nice.

When he came home, he was a little distant and was having problems controlling his emotions. He hugged me and looked away from me, but I could tell he was crying. I did not cry. I have always been so emotional and he has not. I don't understand why I'm not now. It is odd.

After dinner he said that he was going to do some work on the computer (his second job is real estate). Everytime I would mention him packing, he would say that he was only going to take a few things because he could pick up more later in the week. Well before I knew it, it was after 9:00 and he still hadn't packed anything. He mentioned how late it was. I knew what was coming next. He says, "it is late and by the time I get my stuff together, get the groceries and go to friends's house and blow up my mattress, it will be too late. Since I don't workout on Wednesday evenings and you will be at your golf league, how about I pack my stuff then and move it to friend's. Since it is our 18 year anniversary of our first date, I can meet you after your league and we can have a couple of drinks and see what you think". I told him that we had already discussed this last week and that I had already given him another day because I really wanted him out on Sunday. He said "I know, but this is so hard for me. Last time I moved out I wasn't attached to you. Now I'm attached and while I know it is something I have to do, I'm having problems with it". I wanted to say, well then GET RID OF HER AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO LEAVE, but I didn't. So I gave in and said ok.

I don't know if that was the right thing to do or not. We have been getting along so well and enjoying each other. We went to bed and he was very cuddly. This morning he reminded me that we had a date for lunch in the park today.

I just feel like he is cake eating. I feel like we are just so close to closing this chapter and moving forward. He talks about things in the future all the time. Like investments we have, our retirement plans, some minor home updating projects, future vacations. Unless he has a change of heart this week, I don't see him moving off the fence without me forcing him to move and him seeing me GALing.

I just keep praying for strength, courage, and wisdom to do and say the right things. I hope that I have. I want him to leave, (so that he might get his head on straight)but I want him to leave on a good note. I don't want him to leave angry. I want him to remember how good it was and how our life could/would be.

Faith