I started my court ordered 26-week Battery intervention program last night. To my surprise, it was very helpful. I am learning to fix myself and dealing with my inner most demons. I am tired on living in guilt. I screwed up my own marriage and lost my kids I love so dearly. She is moving on with life without me and I am so stuck. How could I live with the fact that she left me because I was "abusive" and financially insecure? I was such a LOSER to her. I know my unconditional love was not enough and a woman needs a strong husband. I let and myself down. What will my children think of me someday? Our monthly expenses so high and our successful business failed and I froze and wanted to go back to school to learn a new skill. Now I know I want to be a Nurse. I want to learn to heal others. Hope! How can I have hope when she hates me and so determined to bring me down? I have nothing but my clothes and shoes. No car, no friends and not a singe penny. All I can do is wait and wait and wait. I missed school enrollment for this term and the next one begins in april. URRRG. I just want to be somebody like I used to be. I just wanna make her so proud of me. How do I hold on to hope when it seems so hopeless?
