These last couple of days i have realised that i need to start living my life as if my husband is never coming back. Coming to the realisation that he may never come back hurt me to the core but could very well be the reality of my situation. It is a year next week that i got the bomb and even though i have been doing well in the back of my mind i have never properly thought about the fact that he may never come back.
So i sat down and thought to myself "What would i be doing differently if i knew for certain that he was never coming back. One of the things i came up with was that i would not want all his things still in the house to constantly remind me of him. So i have text him this morning and asked him to set some time asside to sort through his things here at the house. Once again it feels like another chapter closing in the book but it is something that i feel needs to be done, maybe not good DBing but i can't DB all the time, at some point reality needs to step in. Today i am hurting at the fact that the last 10 years are just fading away slowly.
The reality is, we are getting divorced, once that happens there will be nothing only D3 that we will share. How will i feel once that happens, i dont honestly know, but i am trying to prepare myself for it and so i am making small steps in that direction.
My husband seems alot less happy now than he was when he was with me but he probably can not see that yet, maybe he never will. I just hope that he finds peace within himself and the great person he once was.
Hope evryone is ok
Nicky
Me 34 H 33 D3 together 10 years married 2 years Bomb 22/8/06 (I feel empty) OW involved
