CVA, I totally understand about the kids, to me that one is the hardest, even though now I have them more than my W, starting this week, Yaaaaa! I used to be with them 24/7 was pretty much a stay at home dad, so the weekend thing, really sucks, and knowing that the OM, is trying to replace me in their hearts, makes it even worse, but I know if I ever want things to be right, I have to detach a little to them, as well.
I feel like my W is almost exactly the same as yours, in her own little world and sees me as more of an interference than the friend I am trying to be. It's still is a mystery to me, how you can be with someone for so many years, and then they all of a suddenly decide that they don't want you to exist. But hey I do, exist, I am the kids father, I am still her husband, and even when/if the D is final I will still be in her life, So she just better get used to it. You know I heard a song the other day, and it really hit me, it was called, "Hate Me If You Want To, but Love Me If You Can" or something like that, Now that song, is just how I feel about my W.
The affair with the OM, is still going on, it's been about 6 months, but just as I know that their R, is starting to dwindle, she realizes that I am not going away, I still love her, and that is that, He is the true interference, not me! And that is the way my kids will always treat him, no matter what he does, they know he doesn't belong there. So sooner or later, she is going to wake up, or maybe he will get a freaking brain, and realize that. Though, since the truth has been revealed that he is using her, it may take some time for her, he's obliviously the type that will use someone till they have had enough, so it is going to have to be her, and I can't tell her she has to see it for herself, which I do believe she is, slowly. Sorry about that, didn't mean to use your thread to rant about that, kind of got carried away. I just wanted to try to explain the similarities of our sitches.
So remember that you do exist, and more than that you are a good person and a great dad, It takes one to know one, you know. Peace to you. Take care.
