Just found out that OW has a kid!!

[Ophelia]

So you're into approximately month nine dealing with this affair? That bites, but don't give up! I promise, the lie can't last forever, though it may seem like it.

Well I can't exactly be sure of how long they've been together, but that's my best guess. He told me in an email at the end of January that he'd started seeing someone, and was telling me because he didn't want me to find out from anyone else, (how thoughtful of him). He never answered any of my questions about her. He filed for a "property settlement" through his L. He can't D me until we've been separated for a year, so instead he went about getting this document saying who gets what. I requested copies of his credit card statements etc as proof of the figures quoted in the settlement forms, and on one of those was a payment of $150 at a resturaunt, which was in mid Nov, so I just put 2 and 2 together.

As far as her being messed up...eh. I don't really know her situation, but your husband may seem like a step up in her world. She may honestly feel she's doing this to help her child. Still doesn't make it OK for her to be with your husband. But try really hard not to direct your anger and frustration at her. I haven't read the original thread yet (sorry!), but unless she was your friend before this mess, she didn't owe you loyalty, he did. It's wrong for her to keep holding him knowing he's your spouse, but some times the good ones are hard to let go (even if they're not ours).

I didn't know her. Only know her name because a mutual (former?) friend accidentally mentioned it within earshot of my brother's girlfriend. So I realise that OW doesn't owe me anything. I realise that if it hadn't have been her, it just would have been someone else. I can even appreciate that she wouldn't want to let him go, (God knows I can relate to that!). But yeah, it's pretty low to latch onto a guy who is still married, (even if he doesn't consider himself to be), so I've gotta wonder what kind of morals she has.

Hopefully they'll both come to their senses one day.