I have hope, but need help...

[prodigalwife]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. As the guilty party in my huband's/my near divorce, I know where she is.

She's very young, first of all. That's not an excuse, just an observation. You two were very committed and very in love, and you have a little boy. And these may be all the things she ever dreamed of wanting (they were for me). But it begins to occur to a woman (or a man) that maybe there is something or someone out there she(he) is MISSING because she got to the "happily ever after" too fast. Sometimes it's scary to get everything you think you want at 21...where do you go from there? So maybe she believes she's getting a chance at what she "missed out" on.

WoW can be BAD. My husband and I both play, but he too had a time where Azeroth and an epic quest meant more than dirty diapers and baby giggles. I'm sure your diverted attention hurt her, but be careful of allowing her to dump all the blame on you. I'm not saying you should tell her that you weren't at fault, but don't let her (or yourself!) bury you in guilt forever. You made a bad decision, it took some time but you saw the wrong you were in, and you changed your actions.

Honestly, "blocking" this guy entirely only leaves you in the dark. I'm sure it hurts to hear his voice on the answering machine or see his number on caller ID, but it's better to know than to get blind-sided. he won't go away simply because you want him to disappear (unfortunately).

You're right, it's absolutely not fair that she goes off to live in her fantasy while leaving you with the responsibilities of work and childcare (kinda like living in WoW?). But she may, as someone else said, have to play this scene to the end. Look at it as positively as you can. You can be there for your son, show him tons of love; even though he's little you're getting a chance to build your relationship with him right now.

My good news is this: The other man, the supposedly amazing love they have, the "eternal bond" they can't live without - it's a fairytale. I should know; I was the queen of self-delusion during my affair. Give your wife time to see through the veneer. It sucks, but trying to cut her off from him will only drive her further into his arms. Let her know that you don't want her gone, even though she's hurting you. I don't promise that constancy will work miracles; the fantasy can be pretty hard to let go of. But if she's any sort of intelligent woman, she'll realize that what she's got with him is a mirage, a fantasy.

Hold on, Kevin, you can still make it!