Why do these things happen lX

[sadhearted]

Bet your excited to see him. Sounds like a fun weekend. Watch out for bears.

[mkultra]

I HATE my cell phone bill! It just proves how much in love he is with someone else! I HATE that I call him and he does not call me! Why can't I go dark? You are so brave to be in the dark. I think you have it better than me and sometimes I am jealous what a "good girl" your wife is. I know that is little consolation at this point, but you are doing so much better than me that it is inspiring. I can see why you want to reconcile with her.

[789]

I am not brave by going dark, it just kind of happened, now not sure how to stop it, so I guess I will just let it go on for now. It has taken me a long time to calm down about our situation, I have been calm and happy around her, now in this place I have gone nuts a couple of times. I have never stopped wanting to reconcile with her, just realized some time back that it is not my decision to make and over time I have finally relaxed about it. I know I will still freak out in my own little world if she goes through with it, but I do not let myself think about that right now.

[789]

I must say, thought each day would get easier.

Now that I have hit the 2 week mark of absolutely no communication with her, it is getting a bit hard. Any experience out in DB land if this could means anything? I guess from my standpoint longer it goes like this, the easier it is for her to continue her journey of moving on in life without me, hopefully I am wrong about that. I guess what I am asking if this is a bad omen, or just part of the process.
I am still fine either way I suppose, it is limbo that drives me nuts, not that I am not part nuts anyhow.

[789]

Haven't updated much in the last couple days, so here goes.

Wife called early Thursday to see if she could come over to use my computer, hers is broken beyond repair, mainly old. So she comes over and brings dinner with her, not something she mentioned when she called. She and our son were here for a little over an hour, we ate, then she jumped on the computer while son and I took garbage out and dog for a walk. When we got back she was pretty much done with the computer. She sat around and we chatted about weather, news that sort of stuff. She finally said it was time for them to go home and asked me for my laundry , I know, I am so easy . So I walked them out to the car as usual, got our son and my laundry in and said I would see them later. She turned toward me asked "Would you like to go out Friday or Saturday night with them, and her aunt and uncle. I responded "I would see and let her know tomorrow morning", she said "okay sounds good". Gave me a hug and said "I will talk to you tomorrow". Got in her car and drove away. I almost fell over in shock. I would have thought I was dreaming, but I was outside and still had my clothes on so it had to be real.

Now today,

Well her aunt and uncle aren't coming. So I picked up our son from summer school and decided on the way home to pick up some take N bake pizzas. As normal from being picked up he calls me or her depending on who he is with, so he calls her and guess what ? She asks if we are getting enough pizza for her to come over and eat with us. So now she comes over twice in two days, she has not been to my place twice in a month, excluding picking up or dropping off our son since this whole situation started.
Well she came over, only stayed an hour, but friendly the whole time. We did the normal chit chat stuff and now all of us are going to the water park here on sunday, will wait and see if she actually ends up going with us though. No hug or anything tonight but did thank me for dinner. So all in all, more interaction in the last 24 hours than the last month combined, and all her doing. I do not think any where close at the moment to start anything though. I acted completely normal as if this was a regular evening at home with the three of us. Showed no emotion towards her than just everyday interactions so I think I did well. We shall see.. Them WAW can drive ya nuts !!!

I have been having fun without her lately, so has our son when he has been with me, so I have finally been good at GAL and doing all those other DB'ing things, maybe she is waking up to some degree. Won't get any hopes up, but it is kind of a nice feeling at the moment.

Well rambled on enough.

[Sara]

That sounds really good, 789. You know I'm on your side. Looks like going dark really can work. I know it must be really tough.

[789]

Well dang, now I am scared, wife just called to see what time we are picking her up in the morning. I am not sure who this women is that has taken over my wife and made her act semi-normal for the first time in months. Hope she asks me to put sunscreen on her tomorrow.

[mkultra]

Love it. The hug would have been a good goal to achieve! Really love it. Reread that chapter on how to deal with them when they want to come back. You are doing great not getting too excited.

[789]

Well the water park was a bust. It wasn't even the wife lol, it was my 8yr old daredevil of a kid. He did not want to go on a single slide. So we basically sat around for almost 3-4 hours before finally giving up. Only bad part about the wife is that she brought spray type suntan lotion, so I didn't get to lather her up

Now the good parts... She wore a skimpy bikini, I was all smiles while we at the park, called me "honey" three times today, I think that makes five times now all year and in the past when she did, she would either say "oooops or sorry that slipped", today, just said it and continued on with discussion of the moment. She also invited herself over tomorrow night and I am suppose to BBQ hamburgers for the three of us, 100% her idea. So with her coming over tomorrow, that will make 4 out of 5 days in a row that she "brought" us together to do things.
Still not going to change the way I am doing things and not going to get my hopes up to much, but I cannot lie, I have been all smiles and a great mood since last Thursday.

[789]

Hopefully I didn't just screw up, she called and asked if I would like to go to the movies tonight with them. I turned her down, but used a good and valid excuse to get out of it. I just went with the gut instinct to not move along to quick.