Do I want him back?

[forward]

Celestial, I know--it would be a BIG mistake as I work with him. And it would not surprise me if I wind up working FOR him again. Frankly the man did good things for my career and was a good manager.

I have to admit that because I am vulnerable, I am attracted. And he unfortunately works right across from me now.

[GK99]

Hey Breton...glad to hear you are doing so well!

I have been "attracted" to a few women since W left - perfectly normal. It doesn't help that I work with extremely bright and attractive young women (tough luck, eh?). I just keep reminding myself that it's too soon to do anything other than look (and maybe flirt a bit). I still have way too much healing to do to make myself whole again.

Your time will come, and when you're ready you'll know it. Until then, enjoy the attention!!

[forward]

Hee hee. I wore my new dress to work today and I definitely got some glances from guys.

But I cannot find a babysitter for tomorrow night. I am in desperate need to find someone I can call periodically, sigh.

[forward]

Woo-hoo! I think I may have found someone. I surely hope so. But it will not be in time for tomorrow night.

[kaydeekay]

Thanks for posting. I will look deep within myself to see if this is a good thing for me or not.

I'm really impressed of you. You sound so strong and know what you want.

And the attention your getting, what can I say? Enjoy it but be cautious.

[forward]

I don't know, KDK. I have sometimes wondered if my attitude intimidates H.

Nothing to report--our interaction was mundane today. I came home cheerful and happy.

OW still calls the house (I check).

Tomorrow is H's birthday and he will receive a card from D1. That's it.

My 40th birthday is coming up and I expect nothing from H. He got a party when he turned 40. What do I get--a divorce?

I forgot to mention that H's mom called yesterday. Wanted to know who I was on vacatino with. Told her truth (my family). She seems to be quite interested in who I am with. I am not sure if that is to probe for evidence for custody, if H is telling them he wants a D, or if she is hopeful that we will reconcile and doesn't want to see me add to the problems.

H's parents are coming out to see us in Sept. I am afraid that at that point, H will file.

[Grace_O]

If you think MIL is probing for info in a D, I'd let her know that I wan't interested in talking about my life with her. Of course, I've gotten along with my MIL over the years, but mostly through my efforts. I get along with her better than H does, so that's not a problem for me (ticking her off and having to listen to him about it anyways).

Whe do you think he'll file when his folks come out?

[kaydeekay]

Next time you feel MIL is probing just give vague answers. You really don't have anything to explain to her. I also wouldn't bad mouth H - even if she tries to pull something negative out of you about her son. This may backfire on you if you rant and rave about her little boy.

[forward]

I don't know if I think he will file. My heart says he will not but he has done so many things I never thought he would do. I kind of thought MIL was supportive of our marriage but I am not THAT naive.

I just know that H gets phone calls from them at our house and it just wouldn't entirely surprise me if they help him to file, if that is what he wants. He never talks D with me, and I took some heart in that, but he doesn't talk R with me, either, and, as I mention, seems happy enough.

ILs do call me, too, which is nice. I try to keep conversation on baby and have more or less stopped discussing H.

Today was his 43rd birthday. Must be feelin' fine--seemed perfectly cheerful and happy. SAid not a word about the card from D1. I do not think I will buy him an anniversary card (our 14th anniversary is coming up). And I expect nothing from him for my birthday (which is shortly after our anniversary). Heck, he forgot my birthday when I was pregnant--I can't expect anything from him when he has a girlfriend.

I did not pay much attention to him when he came over--just texted on my phone. He was curious about why I was smiling, though, and I just said "I am texting."

I have been writing in my diary. H used to snoop but I think he stopped. A lot of this tells me he is not invested in me any more.

I continue to consider if I want to continue a R.

[Grace_O]

I continue to consider if I want to continue a R.

I think we all go througth this to varying degrees. Otherwise we'd be the ones that were nuts.

My H doesn't talk D or R either. You'd think his still living at home would give me more hope, but it doesn't.
I didn't get H a card for our anniversary that just past either. I did get a treat to share with the whole family, but I didn't mention our anniversary either. I know he didn't forget though (he never has in all these years).

I hope you do something special for your birthday. It'll help with the PMA.